The Marauders Visit NYC
by Kaitzee
Summary: Well, see, MWPPL go to NYC. If I said anything more, it would ruin the story. Or, rather, the blatant insanity.


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The Marauders Visit NYC

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A/N: The result of getting hyper and memories of fieldtrips? Things like this. The Ferry incident actually did happen... just without the Marauders. Not recommended for the sane. At any rate, MWPPL are off to New York for a trip...and it's not going to be as... er...normal as it could get. Co-written with Tarawen! Enjoy!

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Disclaimer:

We own nothing, 

Neither do you,

We've put this in,

Now please don't sue!

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**On The Ferry**

  
*A bunch of girls are getting their pictures taken by a Japanese Guy*

Sirius: AHH! WHAT ARE YOU AIMING AT ME?? 

Japanese Guy: A camera... 

Lily: You'll have to excuse him. He's foreign.   


Remus: REALLY foreign.  


Japanese Guy: Oh...would you like to be in the picture?  


MWPP: YES!  


Lily: *Groan*  


James: Which side is my best side?  


Lily: The back of your head.  


Sirius & Remus: *snicker*  


Japanese Guy: *Clears throat*  


Remus: Maybe I should be in front?   


Lily: In front of James.   


James: *rolls eyes*   


Peter: *snicker*  


Sara: God, just go.  


MWPP: *pose*  


Kav: Sara, shut up. *Looking dreamily at Remus*  


Japanese Guy: *takes picture*   


Sirius: AHH! BRIGHT LIGHT!   


Lily: THAT WAS THE FLASH!   


James: THAT'S WHAT HE JUST SAID!  


Sara: Shut. Up.  


Remus: *catches girl staring at him* What? Do I have something on my lip?  


Lily: *shakes her head*  


Kav: *Stammers* N-n-no...*To Sara in whisper* I hate you!  


Lily: Well, we have places to go, things to see... 

MWPP: TAKE ANOTHER PICTURE!  


Lily: *sigh*  


Sara: *To Lily* You know them?  


Lily: Yeah, unfortunately. The one posing like a monkey is my boyfriend, James.  


Sara: I pity you.  


Lily: You're kind.  


Kav: *Stares at Remus*  


James: Heh... Hey, Lily! Should I take my shirt off?   


Lily: Not in public, you'll scare off the small children and get arrested.  


Japanese Guy: *click click click*  


Sara: *Walking away, muttering* Nutcases...  


Remus: *sees girl staring at him again* Is my fly open? What's the problem?!  


Kav: It's...it's...ARG! SARA! *Runs off*  


Lily: Are we done here? I'm hungry and I want lunch.  


MWPP: FOOD!!  


Japanese Guy: *runs away in terror*   


Lily: What did you guys d-- AHH! SIRIUS, PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!  


Sirius: *grumble grumble grumble*  


Peter: *Snicker*  


James: I am scarred for life...  


Sirius: *sneer* Jealous?  


Lily: *Rolls eyes*  


James: That you'd be proud of something that sm--   


Lily: LUNCH! LUNCH, LET'S GO GET SOME LUNCH...   


MWPP: FOOD!!  


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**At Food Court**

Lily: *Poking at...gray stuff* What is this?  


James: *whistles innocently*  


Sirius *trying not to laugh*  


Lily: *Dangerously* James...  


MWPP: *crack up*  


Lily: *Glares and dumps gray stuff on their heads* Prats.  


James: *sputter* THAT WAS EXPENSIVE PUKE JUICE!   


Lily: *glare* What?   


James: Er...  


Sirius: *points furiously at James* HIS IDEA!  


Remus: James, Sirius. Have you no control over your tongues?  


Sirius: *pretends to be proper* I do say, Remus old boy, do you care to join me for a martini? 

James: *Odd look*  


Lily: That was... really lame.  


Peter: Are we going to eat?  


MPP: FOOD!  


Lily: *Rolls eyes* Boys.  


*They continue down the line*  


Lily: *Eyes food and looks at MWPP*  


Lily: What else did you do?  


James: *digging in his pocket* Nuuuuthing...  


Lily: *Grabs wand* You were saying?  


James: *takes hand out of pocket and folds hands* How lovely you look today, my little darling.  


Remus: *laughs*  


James: Shut up...  


*The group is receiving odd looks from everyone around them*  


Lily: *Glaring at MWPP* OBLIVIATE!  


*An owl flies into the court holding a red package. A Howler!*  


Sirius: Uh-oh...  


ALL: *Run*  


James: *grins* It's a Snitch!   


Peter: *grins* It's a Quaffle!   


Sirius: NO! It's AN OWL!   


Remus: *Odd look*  


Lily: You idiots! We have to go! NOW!  


James: *points* OWL!  


Lily: *Grabs arm* NOW!  


James: *stumbles* *takes down Sirius with him*   


Sirius: HEY!  


Lily: *Grabs Remus' and Peter's arms in one hand and Sirius' and James' hair in the other* COME ON! *Drags them out*  


MWPP: *swear and curse*  


Lily: *Points wand at them*  


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**On The Streets**  


Remus: Um...where are we?  


Peter: I don't know.  


*The group is ambushed by...water balloons?*  


MWPPL: *sputter*  


Sirius: *Soaked* What the--  


Lily: *eyes widen* Oh no...  


James: THE PNERS!!!!!  


ALL: RUN!  


PNers: MWA HA HA HA!  


*MWPPL run as fast as they can down the busy streets of NYC, the PNers screaming their battle cries. When all of a sudden...*  


*A bomb falls*  


Lily: *Screams*  


Bomb: BOOOOM!!!  


MWP: *Stare in shock*  


James: *heroic* I'LL SAVE YOU! EXPELLERMARIUS!  


Lily: *Starts crying hysterically*  


*The bomb's fire is thrown onto Innocent By-Standers*  


IBS: AHHHH! I'M ON FIRE! @#$%^&!!! *Screams* HELP! POLICE! HELP!  


James: Heh... oops...  


Sirius: Shit.  


Lily: *Still sobbing*  


Peter: DAMMIT JAMES!  


Remus: *massages temples*  


*Police come*  


Sirius: What the hell...  


Police Man: I think you need to be taken into custody. *Looks at Lily sobbing* You four, come on. *Throws them into police car*  


*A large crowd forms around the IBS, just staring at him as he screams and flails his arms around while running in circles. Several policemen try to stem the fire by beating the IBS with their little bats.*  


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**At the Police Station**  


Remus: Oh, no. We're in custody. We're under arrest. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh--  


James: Shut up.  


Peter: What's custardy? It sounds good.  


Remus: *Rolls eyes* It means that they can put us in jail. Permanently.  


Lily: *arrives at jail with a policeman behind her with an evil grin on her face*  


James: I love you, sweetie.  


Lily: Yeah, I'm sure. *To police officer* You want me to testify against them? Of course I will.  


MWPP: NOOOO!  


Lily: You asked for it.  


James: *takes out diamond ring* *gets on one knee* Will you marry me, Lily?  


Lily: *rolls eyes* You tried that already. Remember, two days ago. When you put that Booger Bean in my pumpkin juice?  


James: But...but...  


Remus: Damn.  


Police Man: Ms. Evans, there are a few forms you need to fill out...  


Sirius: *takes diamond ring from James* *gets on one knee* Will you marry me Lily?  


Lily: *To Sirius* Don't be sick.  


MWP: *snicker*  


Lily: *To Police Man* I understand. *Evil grin at MWPP* See you at the trial...  


MWPP: *sob*  


James: Hey Lily, guess what?  


Lily: *warningly* What?  


James:... I'm sorry. *puppy dog eyes*  


Lily: *Sigh* Okay, but this is the last time.  


Sirius: How many times have you sai--  


James: *Evil look*  


Sirius: *Shuts up*  


Lily: *Takes out wand again and points it at police man* Obliviate! Stupefy!  


Police Man: *Falls to floor*  


Lily: Let's get going then, shall we?  


James: *kisses Lily*  


MWP: *gag*  


Lily: *grin*  


Police Man 2: *Walks in* However, you will be forced to do 100 hours of community service.  


MWPP: *groan*  


Lily: *shrug*  


Remus: We're English. You can't actually make us...can you?  


Police Man 2: I certainly can.  


MWPP: *Groan again*  


Police Man 3: You killed him!  


Lily: He's not dead...  


Police Man 3: Is so!  


Lily: No. He. Is. Not.  


Remus: *Rolls eyes* May I?  


Lily: By all means.  


Remus: *Points wand at Police Man 1* Enervate.  


Police Man: Who? What? When? Where? How?  


Lily: *Pointedly* Alive.  


James: 100 hours of community service!!  


Peter: *to James* You're a bit slow, aren't you?  


Lily: Well, let's get your picks and garbage bags and hit it.  


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**On The Street**  


Peter: One gum wrapper. Two gum wrappers. Three gum wrappers. Four gum wrappers.  


MPP: Shut UP.  


Lily: *Checks watch* 99 hours to go...I have to get us some hotel rooms because of you guys. Congratulations.  


James: *wicked gleam in his eye*   


Lily: Forget it. Hotel rooms to sleep in.  


James: *grumble*   


Lily: *rolls eyes*  


Peter: I wish I had a girlfriend.   


MPP: Not like Lily.   


Lily: *glare*  


Remus: Can we do 100 hours of service in a summer?  


Sirius: So what if we don't?  


Lily: You do want to go back to Hogwarts, right?  


Sirius: Oh.  


Peter: Five gum wrappers. Six gum wrappers. Seven gum--  


MPPL: SHUT UP!  


Lily: *watches MWPP while eating a Popsicle*  


James: *death glare*  


Lily: *innocent grin* What's wrong, James?  


James: *Glare*  


Lily: You're the one who set those people on fire...  


Sirius: *cough*bitch*cough*  


Remus: *laughs*  


Peter: *cowers*  


Lily: *Turns to Sirius and Remus and holds out her wand* A-HEM.  


Sirius and Remus: *Shut up*  


Peter: *ducks*  


James: *grins*  


Lily: *Points wand at James*  


James: *moves away four feet and starts to work overdrive*  


*five minutes silence...*  


Lily: *looks up at the sky* Hmm.. oh, James! It's your owl.  


James: *Raises eyebrows* Really?  


Lily: *owl lands on Lily's head, and Lily screams*  


James: *chases after her* Give me back my owl!!  


Peter: *Hides behind garbage can*  


James: *tackles Lily*  


Lily: *Kicks him in the place no one ever wants to be kicked*  


James: AH SON OF A BITCH!  


Lily: *Kicks harder*  


Remus: *Thoughtfully* Can you believe they're boyfriend and girlfriend?  


Sirius: No.  


Peter: *takes letter off of the owl and reads it out loud while Lily chases James around, kicking him in the nutties.* It's from Dumbledore.  


Remus: Read it!  


Sirius: *steals it from Peter*  


Remus: Just READ IT!  


Sirius: *Clears throat* "Dear MWPPL, now that you have arrived in NYC, USA, you have a task to perform."  


Peter: Oh, no. Last time we had that I ended up with two broken legs...  


Lily: *kick* THAT'S FOR STEALING MY CAT! *kick* THAT'S FOR ALL YOUR FAKE PROPOSALS! *kick...*  


James: *Howls in pain*  


Remus: *Ignoring* Keep reading.  


Sirius: Uh.. yeah. "You will have to go to a Muggle school and take one full day of classes. Please send a report back to me. -Albus Dumbledore".  


Remus: *Groan*  


Lily: *kick* THAT'S FOR TELLING ME THAT I WAS FAT! *kick* THAT'S FOR TELLING MY MUM I DIED! *kick* THAT'S FOR...  


Sirius: YOU GUYS! DUMBELEDORE'S SENT US A LETTER!  


Lily: *stops kicking* Oh. Let me see it!  


James: *doubles over in pain* *Falls to ground*  


Sirius: Lily...what did you do to him?  


Lily: *Dangerous look*  


Sirius: *Meekly* Nevermind.  


Remus: We have to go to Muggle school for a day.  


Lily: WHAT? Let me see that! *Snatches letter*  


Peter: Is it that bad?  


James: *groan* Is it bad if I can't feel my groin?  


Sirius: Probably.  


James: *wince*  


Remus: Muggle schools are horrible.  


Lily: How do you know?  


Remus: I went to one for a few years. Before...  


Lily: *Nod* You're right, though.  


Sirius: Huh?  


Peter: *ducks*  


Lily: Peter, stop ducking.  


Peter: *ducks*  


James: I'm bleeding...   


Lily: That's nice.  


James: *weakly* I... I love you, Lily. *plays dead*  


Lily: *eyes widen* Oooh shit.  


Police Man: *Walks up* Now what? *Stares* YOU KILLED HIM!  


Remus: Damn. Not this again.  


Lily: *sob* I didn't mean to...  


Sirius: *cries* YOU KILLED KENNY!  


All: *Stare*  


Sirius: Er...James...  


Lily: *bends down by James* I'm sorry... I love you too...*Cries*  


James: *comes "back to life"* *grins* I KNEW IT!  


All: GASP!  


Lily: *eyes widen* YOU ASSHOLE! *slap*  


Police Man: I'm losing it...  


James: *Runs away*

MWPL: *chase James down the streets of NYC, screaming and rating like lunatics*

*MWPL chased James into the night. Even some people who just felt like screaming followed (the PNers). When the police finally intervened, which was around 1 AM, MWPPL were forced to go home and get some sleep. When they tried to explain that they had no homes had had to rent a hotel, the police dropped them of at a one-star motel called 'Aunt Bob and Uncle Sue's Sleeping House'.*

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A/N: Although I've never been to NYC, Tarawen has. Probably because she lives there. Should we continue? R/R!


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